Modern dating is screwed up, it’s a game. A twisted game of who can care less, who can show the least possible interest as they maintain a fun, light persona. It’s about mastering the art of staying cool and unaffected while actively being blue-ticked by your love interest. A love interest you can’t possibly tell how you truly feel because it’s literally the number one rule of modern dating
It entails sending passive-aggressively charged messages, deleting present ones and eventually blocking said love interest. But not for long, never for too long. Only up until that high of getting rid of negativity in your life dies down. He is the negativity just so we’re clear.
Although he’s swiftly unblocked and probably saved under a different name… wait! no name, a syllable! He doesn’t deserve a name just yet. In fact, he’s getting an unknown second chance at a response because we are interested. Especially in that golden opportunity to ignore him right back. Isn’t pettiness fun?
On the real though,
Yearning for a relationship that’s more than a fleeting romance is definitely something we’ve all craved for at a particular point. Longing to be loved wholly, deeply and unconditionally by someone who sees past our flaws. Peels back the carefully constructed masks, uncovering the darkness underneath and defying the impulse to jump ship.
This is not to say that we are incapable of loving ourselves of course. The truth is, in our society filled with guarded, fast-paced and commitment-phobic beings -such a scenario is hard to come by. With so many options of men and women to choose from, we’re almost on this unending quest to find the perfect person. Although in reality, this person doesn’t exist
We are a people…
afraid to feel,
afraid of falling in love &
afraid of getting our already fragile hearts crushed.
But isn’t that the beauty of life?
As someone who is afraid of more things than I care to admit, for example, chickens with featherless necks, like what’s up with that? and those old scary looking elevators in town, kimathi house, Nyayo house! I would gladly walk up 14 flights of stairs again. In fact, the minute I feel any elevator is getting too full for comfort I am out faster than your quintessential 8-sec boyfriends. (Lame joke)
I realized the one thing that completely terrifies me is being vulnerable with someone. Willingly handing an individual the power to completely destroy you while hoping they wouldn’t.
A lot of us struggle with love and modern dating isn’t making it any easier. Today, vulnerability is almost always frowned upon. As if we’re subtly being conditioned to numb ourselves to the feelings that make us who we are. Lest you’re pegged as being overly sensitive, dramatic, even naivè.
The main point of human interaction is to create relationships. I’m talking about the ability, to be honest with ourselves and others about how we’re feeling.
The ability to express ourselves instead of keeping it in and pretending we’re unaffected in order to protect ourselves from, heavens forbid, deep human connection (aka the point of life).
Regardless, we play this dating game. Building walls of steel while dwindling multiple situationships around booze-infused nights and shallow conversations. But to what end?
What happens when life’s turbulences catch up and you need someone to talk to? Do we then flip through our numerous contacts only to realize there was no stepping stone created to allow us to offload the burden on anyone?
Think about it.
What’s the point of accepting a trend that encourages us to suppress who we are, our feelings, how we express ourselves and relate. Opting to communicate via text just to avoid uncomfortable face to face conversations.
Then again, I admit that I sometimes tend to live in a fairy tale so I might be missing the whole point. Modern dating is confusing. Especially when it involves un-commitment, which results to unaccountability. An excellent recipe for disaster.
I was to end this post with an inspiring story but I lost my train of thought. lol.